Scrub
As much as I hate to admit it, this job has taken a huge toll on my body.
I'm exhausted all the time.
And after too much scrubbing in and out of cases in theatre yesterday, my hands, have now started to bleed, from the sheer rawness of it.
Seeing the blood trickle out of the cracked edges.
The blister painted knuckles.
The knowing that it will bleed again, the moment I scrub up, was agonizing.
And it hurts. A lot.
But there's nothing I can do about it. I dare not ask someone else to perform the surgery instead, as I am still the junior on call, and to use this as an excuse, would just make me look like i'm trying to avoid work.
So I took it all in. Bore the pain. And scrubbed in. Again and again and again.
This is my job.
I save lives.
But at what expense?
Sigh.
This machine, is slowly, breaking down.
But this is me.
I enjoy surgery, though my hands will try to tell you otherwise.
So until these hands can't hold the scalpel anymore...
I'll scrub on.
*Owww.*
- jess -