A year ago: I was just a houseman, trying to just do my work and not get scolded.
A year later: I'm a medical officer now, and I'm STILL trying to just do my work and not get scolded.
A year ago: I was spending New Year's Eve working, on call, in paeds, wondering why patients chose to fall sick on days where I'm on call.
A year later: I'm STILL working on New Year's Eve, and wondering why babies chose to be new year babies.
A year ago: I was in Kuching, and was happy, albeit the things that I have to forgo to be there.
A year later: I'm now in Miri, still happy, but never completely, because I have to give up even more to be here.
A year ago: I never thought I would be transferred out to the district.
A year later: I'm here in Miri.
A year ago: Life was simple, with the only worry that I have is to finish my housemanship alive.
A year later: Life gets more complicated, with a mess of crossroads and the path that I have to chose, and the barriers that I have to survive to get there.
A year ago: I thought that it's easier to working as a MO, compared to being a HO. All I needed was to survive housemanship, and then life will get better.
A year later: I'm NOT only doing MO work, but HO work as well, just because my hospital doesn't have HOs. And life, DID NOT get better.
A year ago: I wanted to do surgery, and I was so sure.
A year later: I'm doing O&G, and I'm... not sure of anything anymore.
A year ago: I was complaining about how there's no place to shop in Kuching.
A year later: I'm now flying back frequently to Kuching to shop.
A year ago: I used to complain that food in Kuching is boring.
A year later: I stand corrected. Miri has proven to be even MORE boring. Miri is a food desert. And I now eat more home cooked food and drink good soups than I ever did in my entire life.
A year ago: I was never keen on a long distance relationship.
A year later: It's no longer a choice, and I still don't like being in one.
A year ago: I was spending time with my other half every moment I can, doing just things that we like to do together. And life was a bliss. And I was truly happy.
A year later: I am here, away from him, and it hurts more with each passing day, just being so far away. It's even further than from Penang to Johor. It's THAT far. But to me, it feels, even further.
A year ago: I didn't know the difficult choices I would have to make, the tears that I would have to shed, and the pains that I would have to go thru, to be forced to leave my life behind, the life that I tried so hard to build. I've begun to call Kuching my home, and to be made to leave your home, is just cruel.
A year later: I've made a new home in Miri now, and I'm happy with the house I'm staying in, and the family that I have here. But there's always that part of me that will be missing Kuching, more so because he is there.
A year ago: I love him, and he's the one who makes my day.
A year later: I still love him. And he STILL makes my day. And more.
A year ago: I was younger, and I was seeing less, and searching more.
A year later: I'm older now, and I'm searching less, but seeing more.
It has not been a easy year for me.
I don't believe in New Year resolutions, because I don't think resolutions should just be made at the beginning of each year.
Pray for me, that 2009 will prove to be better.
Happy New Year everyone.
Appreciate what you have, and take not those you love for granted.
Hugs.
-jess, stepping into 2009-
