I had a horrible call yesterday.

It came to a point where all I wanted was for the havoc to stop, so that I have time to break down and cry.

My right arm is officially broken now, from doing too many caesars and suturing up too many perineal tears.

It hurts.

A lot.

To the point where the numbness turns to pain.



But I am grateful.

Grateful for the times where my mom forced me to use the scissors with my right hand. And for the midwives who taught me how to suture with my right as well.

And now, I do caesars with my right hand, and I stand on the right, like everyone else.

But I write with my left hand.

So yes, many has told me that I'm one confused kid.

But it just makes me grateful that after doing caesars one after another, I can still write, because I am ambiguous.

So I'm thankful, and blessed, with this gift.

And though my right arm is falling off now, I can still do my work. Haha.

That, is what I call a blessing.

And with this blessing, maybe that's why I chose to do what I do.

And as much as I wanted to scream last night, I still like my job (90% of the time, anyway. The other 10% I still think I'm nuts.)

Now let me go nurse my broken arm.

Tomorrow, will be another long, long day.

Argh.


- jess, left AND right handed -

Someone I know has decided to quit being a doctor, and to go do sales.

Some say it's bravery, being able to give up so much to do something that you like.

But I think it's pure idiocity.

(I'm sorry, but this is just what I think. MY opinion.)

I cannot comprehend how someone can just throw 5 years of med school out the window, and 1 year of slavery in housemanship and quit AFTER housemanship.

What was the whole point of studying so hard, trying to graduate, actually graduate, slave thru housemanship and not bask in the glory of the job?

Instead, you chose to do something that even a SPM holder can do.

You made it to the elite school where so many failed to do.
You passed medical school.
You made it thru a year of horrible gruelling housemanship.
And now you cannot even turn back even if you want to when you hand in your resignation letter.

You may say that you're not cut out for the job.
You may hate the people that you have to work with.
You may not be able to stand the workload, or the long hours, or the amount of crap that you have to put up with each day.
But in the end, it's all still just a job.
A job that, mind you, pays well.
A job that is honourable, and still well respected.

So how can you give it up?

Maybe it doesn't give you the job satisfaction like it does to most of us.
Because even I wake up, and not want to go to work some days.
But it has its joys that no other job in the world can offer.

It's your choice.
I may not be agreeable to it, but it's your choice.

I may not be as "brave" as you.
Coz I don't see how brave and quiting actually goes together in the same sentence.
Call me conservative, but if my child comes up to me and asks me one day," Mommy? Why did you quit becoming a doctor?"... I don't think that I can bring myself to answer that I was a quitter.

Seeing the path that a person can pick, puts me into perspective.
That I, deep down inside, actually like what I do.
And I'm proud to call myself a doctor.
Because I heal.
And because, the people that I meet and see each day, heals me too.

And that, is what's important.. and that each day, is a reward by itself.



- jess, a healer -

You don't understand, the hardships we faced, and with it, makes us proud of who we are, and how we turned out to be.



Eating a piece of humble pie will help.

You need to stop fretting about how things are done here, and adapt.

Because that's how we did it.

And mind you, we still do the best to our abilities, and made the best decision that we can, at that point in time.

So suck it up.

Stop grumbling.

-jess, proud to be here-

Presenting....



My 4.7 kg baby!!!!!