"Harvest miracles."
I can't help, but wish for a better year.
One with less turbulence. More growth.
Less pain. More hugs.
Less tears. More smiles.
Less heartache. More love.
It hurts, looking back.
But it was also a year that demonstrated that I can, and I have, gotten up from where I've fallen, again and again and again.
That I'm not as weak as I thought I was.
A year of resilience.
And I am grateful, that I made it through.
Things really did not work out my way in 2010.
All that was expected, the dreams, all came, crashing down.
And I was left, groping for life. Literally.
2011 could've been different.
I could've been together with him now. Happily engaged/married. Working together in a new place. A new life. One that I now, could only dream of.
I could've been on my way to becoming a specialist. But things happened, and I failed the exams, twice. And partly, it was my fault. And no one to blame, but myself.
I could've travelled to places. But I didn't. And now, a year passed, and I'm still here.
I could've had everything that a girl ever wanted. But I had more crying sessions and heartache than I could ever remember all within the span of a year.
Life, could've been very different.
But that being said, that makes 2011 an opportunity for me to regain what I've lost. And more.
I don't believe in new year resolutions.
And to me, the new year is just another year. Another wilted feather to add to my cap.
But maybe this year, I'll make it different.
No more feeling sorry for things of the past.
Time to prove that I'm good at what I do.
Time to pass the exams for real. And stand worthy.
Time to spend more time with those that I care about.
Time to do things that a responsible adult should be doing. Own a house, buy a car, get a dog, just to name a few.
Time to let love come into the broken heart. To believe that I can still be loved. To believe that someone can and will love me. And perhaps to be brave enough to take that first step, once more.
Time to write again. More zest. Less whine. And poetry. Yes, need more poetry.
Time to practice my photography. To really see again. Something that I have not done for a very long time. Blinded, by my miseries. Now, no more.
Time to write again. More zest. Less whine. And poetry. Yes, need more poetry.
Time to practice my photography. To really see again. Something that I have not done for a very long time. Blinded, by my miseries. Now, no more.
Time to make plans to travel. And to actually go do Europe, one place a year.
Time to let go of 2010, and to embrace 2011, with all that it has to offer.
So the aim for 2011?
To harvest miracles.
- jess, another year older (hopefully wiser) -