For all the times that I've been away....

I now understand what it means to be alone.



When all head home, joyful and in anticipation of reunion dinner...

And you have pack your bags and trudge into the on-call room...

I now understand what it means to be alone.



When the messages started coming in with best wishes for the new year...

While you're busy clerking one of the many cases piling up on the table...

I now understand what it means to be alone.



When the fireworks start going off at the stroke of midnight...

And you're standing at the ledge in the hospital wing watching it with a silent heart....

I now understand what it means to be alone.



It sucks to be on call....

But it sucks even more to be on call during new year's eve.



Happy new year, everyone.

Mine wasn't so happy, but I hope yours was better, all the same.


And yes, I'm working tomorrow, just like every other day.

*Sighs*


Someone once told me, that this is the life I chose to live....

But sometimes, you can't help but feel that it just ain't worth it.





- jess, alone for new year's -