It is hard, sometimes, for me to put things in words, what more in perspective.

I guess that's the price to pay to be uprooted, and thrown into the ditch.

You lose your sense of freedom, entangled within the cores of futility and broken dreams.

And this feeling, this feeling of losing ground, scares me.



Beliefs are shaken, old school thoughts are dismissed, and new school ways baffles.

Made to feel incompetent.

Made to feel incongruent.

Made to feel... alone.




Where to I find common ground? To find the balance between black and white, and to learn, the multiple shades of grey.

It will always, look like rain over here.

And I will, always feel like crying.

And these tears, are not because I feel guilt...

But because I'm sad, that I was not given a chance to work things out.



As I always said, I'm not brilliant, and even slightly slow on the uptake at times, but I try, try for the sake of my patients, and try, to 'First, do no harm.'

I try.



So this was what I learned today.

That I will still try, with all that I have, to do, what I can do, at that point in time.

And to let no one, stop me.

And that in trying times....

I will still continue....

Trying.


-jess-